וזלינ(ו״ד)

אין לזניה ☹️

אז בוא ננצל את הזמן לפני ><

אגב בוא לקבוצה :0

הודעה זו נערכה ע"י Felis Fuscus ב Oct 1 2024, 17:46 PM

אני אוכל כמויות מטומטמות של פסטה באמת
זה תמיד מוזר לי כשאנשים אומרים ״וואי בא לי פסטה אני אכין״ כי לי ת מ י ד יש פסטה בשניה שהיא נגמרת מכינים לי עוד אחרת אני פשוט ארעב למוות כי זה הדבר היחיד שאני אוכל שלוש פעמים ביום שבעה ימים בשבוע
אני צריך למצוא עוד אוכל שאני אוהב אחרת אני פשוט אמות

אני מפחד

למה?

אה אז נפלת בין הכיסאות

אתה יכול לישון ולשחק משחקי קופסא:)

אז פיצה
או פסטה
תעשי רוזה או פנה או שמנת או רביולי או עגבניות או פסטו

ראיתם מה היילי קאליל העלתה?

לצערי :/
אין לנו משחקי קופסה חוץ מרמי אבל כן לישון זו אופציה!

מה? אין לנו כוח לבדוק

Who is William?

I used to fear saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. One wrong word, phrase, body movement, comment, instagram like, or text could start it. The wrong thing would completely change his mood…and I rarely knew what that thing was or how to predict it.

It would happen randomly, without warning. We would be having a wonderful day… and then one thing would set it off. Sometimes it was a word choice he wouldn’t like. Other times it was me introducing him by his name instead of “my boyfriend.” Talking to a male stranger too long. Using the wrong tone. Anything I did could be weaponized by him depending on his mood. Not posting him enough, not touching him enough, if I asked him to help me with something, not being grateful enough after he helped me… the list goes on and on and on.

I was told I couldn’t speak to certain people. I was told I couldn’t go certain places. I couldn’t say certain phrases. I couldn’t hug my guy friends. I couldn’t work with men. I couldn’t answer a male DM, even from a coworker. I couldn’t go to a male doctor. I couldn’t talk to my friends about any of this. I couldn’t ask my mom for advice. “Who are you talking to? What did you tell them?! This is between you and I! How dare you?!”

He broke me. He broke me and shattered me into a place I never want to be again. I contemplated taking my own life many many times. I didn’t want to feel dead anymore, I just wanted to be dead. He killed my joy, my independence, my happiness, my excitement for people and life and humor… he tried to take all of that from me. And he probably could have.. if I hadn’t found the powerful community of people I have online. Their love and kindness and patience taught me that I am deserving of a love that isn’t negative.

I thank God every single day that my career gave me the self-confidence to escape that hell. It gave me the confidence to speak my mind & communicate my hurt. It gave me the confidence to joke, laugh, smile, and not to have to question any of those things. Once I was able to do that, I felt like myself again.. free of the emotional muzzle he had put on me. People wonder why I am constantly working? Why I post so much? Because I never ever want to go back to where I was. Because I owe everything to my career for saving me.

But now I am back to fearing. The wrong move, phrase, sound, inflection… could incite hate. I fear people like I once feared him. I fear expression or vulnerability as more and more lies are told about me. Shedding a tear is enough to cause an uproar “how dare u cry, you pretentious little hportal” strangers type and type. It feels like the world is weaponized against joy.. because once you find it, it is so quickly stripped from you & you’re left feeling the same way you did before. Empty.

So who is William?
William does not exist.
William is a satirical expression of the hurt, control, and manipulation I experienced by my abuser.

❤️

You wanna be a hero Tommy?
then die like one.

סליחה נזכרתי פתאום למאו

וואו

היוש, שמרו על עצמכם כולם ועל ההנחיות ותהיו בסביבת מרחבים מוגנים ויהיה בסדר

אה אתה יודע רק איראן וכזה
אסור לנו לצאת מהבית כי אנחנו חיבים להיות צמודים למרחב מוגן